Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Beginning! Not look back now!

I don't know if anyone tells you that moment when you really decide you need a change.  A change of scenery, a change of pace, a change in you.  I had a little boy in November 2009.  I was at my heaviest when I got pregnant(167).  I immediately dropped all the weight I gained during pregnancy and was back at the 167.  I nursed for a year and got to 164.  

At his first birthday, I decided I really needed to start working towards losing weight.  That was almost TWO YEARS AGO! I struggled so much trying to cope with stress, time, hating my job, sometimes hating life.  I tried to mask a perfect world while mine was crumbling around me. I tried running, biking, work out videos.  None of them kept me interested or made me feel like I wanted to continue after 5-10 minutes.

I started Weight Watchers in April 2012.  I wasn't serious at all. I weighed 163. We moved from NC to Florida in May so my weight loss journey was definitely on hold for a bit.  We went back to Ohio for a week and I gained 5 lbs there. IN A WEEK.  INSANITY! 

Once we got back from Ohio, I decided I needed to start really changing my life.  I started tracking my food everyday in Weight Watchers.  I started swimming again. I swam competitively when I was a kid and dove in high school. I feel at home in the water(unless there is a dead frog at the bottom of the pool...then I feel icky). I lost 2+ lbs each week since starting to swim. I am home right now because I don't start my new job until July 9th.  I am trying to swim at least 4 days a week and then strength train on the other 3(maybe 2 to be realistic). 

Last week, I had a moment of crazy.  A complete and total meltdown of the mind.  I cried and cried and cried. I always wanted to be the trophy wife and I feel like I fail at that most days.  Our country has built up the notion of beauty and I definitely don't fit that mold.  Don't get me wrong, I feel pretty some of the time.  Then I look down at my thighs that touch or my boobs that sag or my flabby belly and poof all prettiness is gone.  I realize again that I needed to really put pedal to the metal and change.  Not only for myself, but for the people around me who get the wrath of craziness! 

So I am on a mission.  That mission is to say Thin is In, Round is Out! 

Current Weight: 157
Goal Weight: 140
1st Goal: 150 (Reward: Dinner with a New Outfit)
2nd Goal: 140 (Reward: Bikini)

Current Weight Pic:




I will check back in with more in a month!